Wednesday, June 10, 2015

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Monday, May 4, 2015

Funny Jokes for Adults - Funnyjokesfunny.com

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Judge hearing a divorce case
Judge to husband: why you want to divorce your wife?
hus: im not satisfied with her on bed
judge to wife: wat u have to say about this??
wife: whole colony is satisfied only this bastard has got problems.
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1 Nangi ladki 20 Floor se giri.
18 floor par 1 aadmi ne catch kiya, bola 'Chusegi' ???
Ladki shareef thi, manaa kar diya.
Aadmi ne usska hath chodd diya,

Iss barr 16 floor pe 1 aadmi ne catch kiya And bola 'Chudegi' ?
Ladki : No.
Usne bhi uska hath chodd diya
Ladki girne lagi, Gaand fati maut ke darr se, socha=-?kash unki baat man leti.
12 floor pe 1 aadmi ne phir catch kiya.
Ladki - Mein Chusungi bhi Chudungi bhi.
(Iss baar aadmi Shareef nikla ) Aadmi - Chal randi saali , Jaa, marr...
.
OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS ONCE ONLY, SOMETIMES TWICE BUT NEVER THEREAFTER..

Saala tum logon ko achaa inspirational msg bhi samjhaane ke liye Sexy tareeke se bhejna paddta hai...????
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Modern Man's Thinking :-
..
..
"My Heart Will Always Belong To Just One Woman..

But, I Have My Sperm For The Rest...!!!"???
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santa ke upar adalat mein ek case chal raha tha...

Judge : tumne lady police officer ko apna hathiyar kyu pakdaya?

Santa rote huye : Judge sahab meri koyi galti nahi hai, ye mere ko boli kaam karvana hai to pehele mutthi garam karo, so maine kardi....
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Ek Dukhi Boss ? ki Kahani:

Kal mera Birthday ? tha
Meri BiVi Bachcho ne mujhe wish nhi
kia ?

Mai office gaya kisi ne wish nhi kia,?

Mai apne cabin mei gaya Meri
Secretary ? Romantic style mei boli
"Happy Birthday" sweet Boss.

Mujhe boht achcha lga
Phir usne mujhe apne Flat Pr bulaya
aur kaha ki aaj mai apko boht khush
karne wali hun?

She said:
Mai 2 minutes me Bedroom se aati hun
tb tk aap excitment ki tyari kr le?
Kuch deir baad wo 1 boht bade Cake
ke sath bahar aayi
Us ke peche meri BV ??, Bachche ??, maa ?
baap ? aur pura staff ????tha
.
.
.
Aur mai us Behn Chod
ke intezar me Sofay per Nanga Leta
condom chada rha tha . .....?????????????

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

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Tuesday, April 28, 2015 - 0 Comments

Announcement in a SCHOOL:
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
"Students who've Parked their
cycles in front of d Gate, Plz move their cycles
to the Parking area!!"
After 30 mins another
announcement: "The 400 students who went
to move 10 cycles plz come back to classes

=================================================

How Guys feel sorry after hurting their girlfriend . .
1st message-sorry
2nd message- Sorry please
3rd message- Jus talk to me once baby
4th message- Please listen na baby please
5th message- please itna naraz mat ho mujse
6th message- I'l die agar tune baat nai ki to
7th message - Tere jaisi 10 ladkiya rehti hai mere piche. . Tu kya khud ko miss world samajhti hai! . . . . . .
8th msg -baby I'm really sorry I was drunk last night

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Dear Dialogue"Hasi toh Fasi"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aaj tak jitni hasi ,,,, sali ek bhi na
fasi ..

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Agar aapki magnetic personality ke bad bhi ladki appki taraf attract naji h rahi hai,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
to iska matlab ladki me iron ki kami hai.

=================================================

Ek baar ek aadmi ka phone TOILET
Mein gir Gaya..?
.
Achanak toilet se 'Toilet Devi'
prakat hui..
Unhone uss aadmi ko ek gold ka
phone diya..?
.
.
.
Aadmi ne 'kulhaadi' wali story
suni huyi thi..?
.
.
.
isliye vo imaandaari ke saath
bola-"Ye sone ka phone mera nahi
hai Devi ji..?
.
.
.
.
.
Devi Boli-
Abey GADHE DHO LE isko

=================================================

बधाई...
.
.
.
रेलवे प्लेटफार्म टिकट 10/- की हो गई है।
नहीं खरीदने पर पहले 5/- बचते थे अब 10/- बचेंगें। 

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Sex is good, sex is fine.
doggy style or 69,
just 4 fun or getting paid,
everyone loves getting laid,
so if u want me in the sack,
lick ur lips n kickass me back.


===================================================


Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal." The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?"

"A cat!" said Suzy.

"Good job. Now, what's this animal?"

"A dog!" said Ricky.

"Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.

The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad."

"I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny bastard!" 


===================================================


Dad : Hey son, do you wanna hear a joke?
Son : Sure!
Dad : Sex
Son : I don't get it..
Dad : And you never will


===================================================


Teacher: You have a D young man. What do u have to say for your self?
Me:I know I have a D, just ask your daughter.
Teacher: What!?!?
Me:What?


===================================================

BOOB IM ICON
Perfect Boobs (o)(o)
Fake Boobs ( + )( + ) 
Perky Boobs (*)(*) 
Big Nipple Boobs (@)(@) 
A Cups o o 
Wonder Bra Boobs (oYo) 
Lopsided Boobs (o)(O) 
Grandma Boobs \ o /\ o /


===================================================

People always ask me why me and My ex-girl broke up. Ok this is what happen one she caught me blowing my dick with her hair dryer, and she asked me what the hell are you doing And apparently "heating up your dinner" wasn't a good answer


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Unscramble these words! 
1.) PNEIS
2.) HTIELR
3.) NGGERI
4.) BUTTSXE
Did you get SPINE, LITHER, GINGER and SUBTEXT?


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What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, can choke people when was improperly, and is best when jerked?
A Seatbelt


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Teacher and her 3 boy students:

Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”

Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.”

Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…
Teacher: “Why are you leaving?”
Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”


===================================================

A little boy goes to school but bringing in a cat with him. Teacher asks him “why did you bring your cat to school?”

The little boy replies, “Well, I heard my daddy telling mommy when the kids leave I’m gonna eat that pu**y up.”


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Girl: Baby I am wet.
Boy: Want a paper towel?
Girl: No, I want more than that ��
Boy: Want 2 paper towels?
Girl: No, baby I want sumthing big and round ��
Boy: Damn you want the whole roll?


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Mom: If a boy touches your b**bs, say “Don’t” and if he touches your pu**y say “Stop”.
Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said “Don’t Stop”.


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A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. The cashier asks, “Do you want a bag?”
The guy says, “No. She’s not that ugly.”


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Boy: Let’s play the firetruck game.
Girl: How do we play?
Boy: I run my fingers up your leg, and you say “Redlight” when you want me to stop.
Girl: Okay :)
*Few seconds later*
Girl: Redlight!!!
Boy: Firetrucks don’t stop for redlights ��


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Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy: Do they swell?
Girl: No. They spread.


===================================================

Q: Who makes more money… a hooker? or a drug dealer?
A: A hooker, because she can wash her crack and sell it again.

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Tuesday, April 21, 2015

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