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Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Top 10 Funny Jokes Ever - Best Top 10 Funny Lines

Sex is good, sex is fine.
doggy style or 69,
just 4 fun or getting paid,
everyone loves getting laid,
so if u want me in the sack,
lick ur lips n kickass me back.


Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal." The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?"

"A cat!" said Suzy.

"Good job. Now, what's this animal?"

"A dog!" said Ricky.

"Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.

The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad."

"I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny bastard!" 


Dad : Hey son, do you wanna hear a joke?
Son : Sure!
Dad : Sex
Son : I don't get it..
Dad : And you never will


Teacher: You have a D young man. What do u have to say for your self?
Me:I know I have a D, just ask your daughter.
Teacher: What!?!?


Perfect Boobs (o)(o)
Fake Boobs ( + )( + ) 
Perky Boobs (*)(*) 
Big Nipple Boobs (@)(@) 
A Cups o o 
Wonder Bra Boobs (oYo) 
Lopsided Boobs (o)(O) 
Grandma Boobs \ o /\ o /


People always ask me why me and My ex-girl broke up. Ok this is what happen one she caught me blowing my dick with her hair dryer, and she asked me what the hell are you doing And apparently "heating up your dinner" wasn't a good answer


Unscramble these words! 


What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, can choke people when was improperly, and is best when jerked?
A Seatbelt


Teacher and her 3 boy students:

Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”

Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.”

Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…
Teacher: “Why are you leaving?”
Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”


A little boy goes to school but bringing in a cat with him. Teacher asks him “why did you bring your cat to school?”

The little boy replies, “Well, I heard my daddy telling mommy when the kids leave I’m gonna eat that pu**y up.”


Girl: Baby I am wet.
Boy: Want a paper towel?
Girl: No, I want more than that 😉
Boy: Want 2 paper towels?
Girl: No, baby I want sumthing big and round 😉
Boy: Damn you want the whole roll?


Mom: If a boy touches your b**bs, say “Don’t” and if he touches your pu**y say “Stop”.
Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said “Don’t Stop”.


A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. The cashier asks, “Do you want a bag?”
The guy says, “No. She’s not that ugly.”


Boy: Let’s play the firetruck game.
Girl: How do we play?
Boy: I run my fingers up your leg, and you say “Redlight” when you want me to stop.
Girl: Okay :)
*Few seconds later*
Girl: Redlight!!!
Boy: Firetrucks don’t stop for redlights 😉


Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy: Do they swell?
Girl: No. They spread.


Q: Who makes more money… a hooker? or a drug dealer?
A: A hooker, because she can wash her crack and sell it again.

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